期待すること

人はいつも期待することがあると思う。昇級を期待して、友達の恩返しを期待して、恋人の抱擁を期待して、両親の財産を期待して、子供に期待をかけて.....いろんな理由を持っていて、他の人になにか期待することがある。


この”期待”ということは、実には、誤解の原因となるかもしれない。
Whenever you do something, try not to expect anything in return. In fact, those things that you have done mostly for your own sake, but then most people think that what they have done, what they have offered are mainly for others, they think that they are doing the big favor and expecting others will do the same in return.

eg. the guy is trying all his mighty to please the girl, buys her what she wants, brings her everywhere, drives all the way to her home just to pick her up, he thinks he himself is super romantic, he does all these just because of her, he is expecting that the girl should be greatly appreciated and at least to do something back in return. If the result is not what he is expecting, he will be so upset and depressed, feel himself the most pitiful person in the world.

analyze: the guy drives all the way to the girl's home because he wants to see her, the subject is HE himself, he did that to ease his own mind of longing to see her. The girl is the object, who he wanted to please, and has nothing to do with the guy's actions. but then the guy will mistakenly think that he is doing all these for her, just because of her, he drives all the way down here to meet her, so she should be greatly appreciated or at least give him a big big kiss or sleep with him for the night in return. The subject subconsciously puts his own will onto the object and places the responsibility on the object. When the object didn't react as he was expecting, then he became depressed, thinking that why he did so many things for her but then she was still not satisfied and not appreciated.
This kind of thinking is considered childish.

Whenever we offer something to others, we do it willingly, no one force you to, and no one asks you to. We can't think of doing something FOR somebody. In fact, you are doing it of your own will. You can't have any expectations of others, including the action of appreciation or people doing the same in return.

If there is such kind of expectation, better don't do anything at the very first beginning.

2011始めます

2010もう終わった。皆新世紀を祝う催しを開いて、新しい年を迎える。
２０１０年は私の人生の大事な年だと思う。２０年前からアメリカへ移住していた両親には最後まで家族とみんな一緒にアメリカにいることが気に入る。
アメリカの生活は、香港よりあまり忙しくないけど、日々が過ぎるのは、驚くてはやい。大きなSouthern California なら、1～2時間くらい運転したら普通なことだ。往復したら、もう３〜４時間になる。そして、交通渋滞、ただ高速道路に運転したら、半日がなくなってしまう。
でも、慣れたら毎日のんびりして楽しい日々を過ごす。
それに、両親のところまで、ただ７時間にかかる。両親がまだ元気のうちに一緒に暮らせれば幸せだと思う。両親はもう８０才になるので、一緒の時間をちゃんと大切にしたい。